The Living Legacy of Integrity

When my father passed away last October, my mother, brother, and sister were all feeling quite distraught over the loss of a beloved husband and parent under seemingly sudden circumstances. Amidst the hurried preparations for a quick burial in accordance with our tradition, I scarcely had time to think, to do much else past taking care of urgently important details, making sure that my family and my father made the journey to the city in which his body would rest. Then came the service, and after seven days of Shiva, a time in which we are free of our daily responsibilities in order to fully mourn the loss that has occurred. This process was particularly therapeutic and thus healing for me and I truly appreciated the genius behind the creation of such a tradition.

Being able to fully mourn the loss of my father gave me the ability to slowly move back into the stream of life when the seven days were up, knowing that I further had the first 30 days after his death in which I might decline participating in joyous events that I might otherwise feel pressured to participate in, and then regret or resent. This had the unforeseen benefit of allowing me the time and space in which to not merely recover from the loss, but to appreciate the enormous impact and life lessons of being the child of this man.

Having just finished listening to Earl Nightingale speak of integrity on his recording, Lead the Field, I immediately thought of Dad, and the powerful example of integrity that he modeled for us. A survivor of the Holocaust, whose parents died in Auschwitz, my Dad spent those war years not merely surviving himself, but helping others to do so. After miraculously escaping one camp, he worked tirelessly to help others do the same, despite the constant risk to himself in doing so. After the war, he was determined to find his brothers and reunite the family, which he did indeed.

In 1949, escaping Czechoslovakia after it fell to the Soviets, he immigrated to America, where he refused any financial help, learned the language of his newly adopted country, and eventually worked his way up from salesman to president of his own company. The hallmark of his business life was integrity. He was fiercely loyal to family, scrupulously clean in his business dealings, and always looked out for his employees.

When my parents moved south to retire, Dad instead opened a small business and quickly developed a reputation for honest business dealings among the local minority population, who saw him, an "outsider", as someone they could trust to look out for their best interests in an area of business in which they were often taken unfair advantage of.

Before he died, my Dad fretted that he hadn't left us a fortune to share among ourselves. But as letters streamed in from his accountant, lawyers, business associates, and friends praising his life, I couldn't have felt richer.

Ellen Pollak Wilson

Ellen Pollak Wilson is releasing her first solo CD, Songs of Ascent, music intended to uplift, heal, and inspire. As a singer, teacher, writer, and coach, Ellen endeavors to help others to find their own voice in all matters. Visit her website at: www.ellenmwilson.com