In loving memory of Gary William Gibbs

We had first met at a Christian Teen Camp at Nanoose Bay, here on Vancouver Island, in mid July 1972.  I was there, with 5 girlfriends as dishwashers, as none of our parents could afford the cost.  He was standing quietly in front of the Lodge, with his bike, looking so very shy!
I found myself wandering over, just to get a closer look, as he was so very handsome.  I asked if he was staying at all, to which he replied 'no'.  He had just ridden down from Powell River to see this place he'd heard so much about.  And as he was working at the Mill there, for his Dad, he'd have to be heading back pretty quick.
At the time, I was 16 and he was 17.
We never saw each other again, until early 2000.
 
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I worked at the Safeway, close to downtown Victoria and there was a particular gorgeous customer, who came in, only about twice a week.  But every day, I hoped to see him.  Even though he had asked me out twice, and I'd declined, as I was twice divorced and therefore terrified of making yet another mistake.
On one of my weekly trips out to see my Mom, I complained to her about him, and Mom did something she'd never EVER done.  Told me, loudly, to ask HIM out!  Well, I thought she was getting old & losing it, so I more or less ignored her statement.
But, I never forgot.
 
After more time had passed, I discovered that he was one of the top Carpenters in the city, so I asked him if he could do some minor repairs in my apartment in late fall 2003.
Shortly after that, we had our first dinner out, and started sharing & basically putting pieces together.............then found out who the other one really was!
And all this time, the boy from Powell River, that handsome young man at Nanoose Bay, had been right here!
 
We started recounting days, months, years of our lives, and mistakes we'd made.  They were unbelievably, near identical!
During my two previous bad marriages, I had thought & wondered of him so very many times, and he the same of me!
And after meeting at Nanoose Bay, he had gotten my address from my dearest Aunt who was the Supervisor at the time, and mailed a lovely lavender stone on a gold chain.  When it arrived, I had given it to my Mom, as she loved that colour, and I figured that someone that good looking, would never want me, therefore I didn't reply to his letter.
Something I've never forgiven myself for.
Since I'd happily & finally been single, I'd seriously thought of driving up to the Ferry & going to Powell River, and somehow finding the Mill, to ask about him.
Which was itself just plain ridiculous, as I didn't keep that precious letter from him, and therefore didn't even know his name.
 
We were married April 17th, 2004!
 
It was almost immediately afterwards that he took ill, and for someone in such excellent physical condition, went slowly downhill for the next three years.
 
Gary never took off his wedding ring or crucifix, but on April 12th, 2007, he asked me while so ill, laying in bed, to take them off, without giving a reason.  It scared me so much, as my dear Mom had done the same thing four years prior, and just 2 days before she had passed away!
 
And, so, my handsome, kind loving thoughtful Christian husband, the only man of my dreams, who gave me the best three years of my life, just slipped away and joined my Mom & Dad in GLORY, on April 14th, 2007.
I had never been treated as well, or loved and adored, the way he did me!
 
Well, it's been over 16 months now, since I lost him.
I didn't realize just how horrific a broken heart could be.  I've heard others say, it was like literally having half your heart ripped out.  And, they were so right!
 
To let others know, isn't easy, but for some reason, 3 months ago I had a sudden strong urge to begin this, and have been sharing my story with many others since.
This has been one of the most difficult journeys in my entire life.
And no, it doesn't get any easier with time!
 
Around April 21st, 2007, in our bedroom, about 15-20 min after I'd gone to bed, the chain attached to our blinds, for winding/moving them, loudly rattled.  At first, I thought it was our Tabby Cats, but no, as each and every single night it happened, I would find where they were.  Then thought it must be the wind, even though they'd never rattled before.  So then I was sure it was the wind, as we live right by the ocean, but again...........no, as we face the opposite direction. 
I had also seen many times, shadows here and there, since Gary's death.  And almost every time, our kitties would charge out from where ever they'd been, either sleeping or playing, to sniff the exact same area enthusiastically, where I'd just seen the shadow, seconds before.
So, after a while, I realized it was my Gary!
Well, it's amazing, how time does roll on and on, and pretty much things remained the same around here.
Until one night.............April 20th, 2008.
 
Gary's eldest daughter, had been working overseas, with the United Church for a year, starting almost around the time she lost her Dad.
Her only sister & Mom had been with me for the Burial Service, but I'd often thought of her.  For some strange reason on that night, I felt a sudden urgent need to phone their house.  Well, I was pleasantly surprised when she answered, telling me she was back from abroad for a while.  It was just so lovely to hear her beautiful voice, as I had desperately been wanting to tell her, how very much her Dad was proud of her, and as I did that, from the far bedroom, the chain on the blinds rattled!
They had rattled EVERY SINGLE NIGHT..............but after THAT night, they have NEVER rattled again!
 
 
So, dear readers..............that was my wonderful husband, telling me, that I'd finally done what was so very important to him!  Just to let his first born know, how proud and pleased with her actions, at the young age of 19, that he was!
(I've often wished I had done the same with my life, instead of destroying 25 years on 2 bad marriages, my Mom had forbidden!)
And here she was, devoting herself to the work of our dear Lord & Saviour.
 
I've been told by those who knew us best, to write a book on our lives.  But unfortunately, both sides of our families would not be very pleased.
 
Just remember something that my Mom taught me, as a very small child, & never have forgotten...........
Christ will NEVER leave us, nor forsake us!
No matter how stupid, idiotic or just plain disastrous we make our lives.
He will carry us through...
 
These Bible scriptures have literally been my sustenance & strength:
 
My Child, you may not know me, but I know everything about you!  (Psalm 139:1)
I know when you sit down & when you rise up.  I am familiar with all your ways!  (Psalm 139:3)
For you were made in my image!  (Genesis 1:27)
You are my offspring!  (Acts 17:28)
You were not a mistake!  For all your days are written in my book!  (Psalm 139: 15-18)
I determined the exact time of your birth & where you would live!  (Acts 17:28)
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope!  (Jeremiah 29:11)
My thoughts toward you are as countless as the sand on the seashore!  (Psalm 139:17-18)
And I rejoice over you with singing!  (Zephaniah 3:17)
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you!  (Psalm 34:18)
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart!  (Isaiah 40:11)
One day, I will wipe every tear from your eyes & I'll take away all the pain you have suffered here on this earth!
(Revelation 21:3-4)
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love!  (Romans 8: 31-32)
My question is, will you be my child?  (John 1: 12-13)
I am waiting for you.  (Luke 15:11-32)
 
My deepest prayers are with those of you who are also heartbroken, in grief & despair.
God Bless!
 
Sincerely yours, in Christ alone,
Sheila Joyce Gibbs
 
'In loving Memory of Gary William Gibbs'.

Comments

[Funeral Readings Guru]

Excellent article. Wonderful story. Keep up the great work.