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The first stage of grief according to the Kübler-Ross model of grieving is denial. When it comes to the death of a loved one, denial tends to be more symbolic than literal. What it doesn't mean is that you literally don't know your loved one has died.
What it does mean is that you come home and can't believe that your wife isn't going to walk in the door at any minute, or that your husband isn't just away on a business trip. Or you simply can't fathom that your child is never going to walk through that door again.
We can't believe what has happened because at this stage we actually can't believe what has happened. To fully believe at this stage would be too much. Denial, the first stage of grieving, actually helps us to survive the loss. It works subtly, giving us moments away from our pain and allowing us to pace our feelings of grief. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle.
As denial fades, it is slowly replaced with the reality of the loss. As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. But as you proceed, all the feelings you were denying begin to surface. One of these is stage two: anger…
Lucie Storrs The creator behind The Light Beyond, Lucie lives in Italy's wonderful region of Tuscany. This project combines her two passions: the world wide web and helping lots of people!
Nancy Adams Nancy is one of our wonderful writers, drawing upon her own extensive experience of grief and loss. She lives in a truly idyllic, inspiring location at the heart of a forest in Michigan.
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