The second stage of grief is anger. This can be anger at anyone from the deceased to God. For example, those in bereavement often have thoughts of, "Why did you leave me alone like this?" towards their loved ones who died. They may be angry at their loved one for not taking better care of himself, or angry at themselves for not taking better care of their loved one. You may feel anger towards the doctors for not being able to save the person who has died, or you might rage against life in general because you are angry that bad things could happen to someone who meant so much to you. But, most of all, you may be angry at this unexpected, undeserved and unwanted situation in which you find yourself.
The anger may also be directed at God for taking away a loved one. Today, most churches and clergy understand it is not unusual for people to feel anger toward God in bereavement. Many churches have started bereavement groups in which priests and ministers encourage expression of all kinds of feelings. Consider asking your church about this.
According to Kübler-Ross, anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. Do not bottle anger up inside – instead, explore it. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love. If you do not allow yourself to fully experience it, the pain only gets worse until you can no longer ignore its demands to be heard.
Don't let anyone diminish the importance of feeling your anger fully. And don't let anyone criticize your anger, not even you.
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