The Light Beyond

Are you still there?

The talented paulmot on the Light Beyond bereavement forum recently posted this moving poem he wrote after the death of his father:

Are you still there?

9 weeks have passed by
Your life issues nearly completed
Your affairs coming to conclusions
You have left us here, rudderless

You gave us direction
you supplied us affection
You handed us reflection

You made us as we are
You gave us what we have
You prepared us to be strong

You set us upon our way
you guided us along the way
You chided us in our ways

I hope you are being directed
I hope you are being prepared
I hope you are on your way

I hope you know
You are still here
You are in all of us

__________________
We must pass the tests set for us to move to the next level.

Moving up is crucial to the well being of us all

The Living Legacy of Integrity

When my father passed away last October, my mother, brother, and sister were all feeling quite distraught over the loss of a beloved husband and parent under seemingly sudden circumstances. Amidst the hurried preparations for a quick burial in accordance with our tradition, I scarcely had time to think, to do much else past taking care of urgently important details, making sure that my family and my father made the journey to the city in which his body would rest. Then came the service, and after seven days of Shiva, a time in which we are free of our daily responsibilities in order to fully mourn the loss that has occurred. This process was particularly therapeutic and thus healing for me and I truly appreciated the genius behind the creation of such a tradition.

Being able to fully mourn the loss of my father gave me the ability to slowly move back into the stream of life when the seven days were up, knowing that I further had the first 30 days after his death in which I might decline participating in joyous events that I might otherwise feel pressured to participate in, and then regret or resent. This had the unforeseen benefit of allowing me the time and space in which to not merely recover from the loss, but to appreciate the enormous impact and life lessons of being the child of this man.

Having just finished listening to Earl Nightingale speak of integrity on his recording, Lead the Field, I immediately thought of Dad, and the powerful example of integrity that he modeled for us. A survivor of the Holocaust, whose parents died in Auschwitz, my Dad spent those war years not merely surviving himself, but helping others to do so. After miraculously escaping one camp, he worked tirelessly to help others do the same, despite the constant risk to himself in doing so. After the war, he was determined to find his brothers and reunite the family, which he did indeed.

In 1949, escaping Czechoslovakia after it fell to the Soviets, he immigrated to America, where he refused any financial help, learned the language of his newly adopted country, and eventually worked his way up from salesman to president of his own company. The hallmark of his business life was integrity. He was fiercely loyal to family, scrupulously clean in his business dealings, and always looked out for his employees.

When my parents moved south to retire, Dad instead opened a small business and quickly developed a reputation for honest business dealings among the local minority population, who saw him, an "outsider", as someone they could trust to look out for their best interests in an area of business in which they were often taken unfair advantage of.

Before he died, my Dad fretted that he hadn't left us a fortune to share among ourselves. But as letters streamed in from his accountant, lawyers, business associates, and friends praising his life, I couldn't have felt richer.

Ellen Pollak Wilson

Ellen Pollak Wilson is releasing her first solo CD, Songs of Ascent, music intended to uplift, heal, and inspire. As a singer, teacher, writer, and coach, Ellen endeavors to help others to find their own voice in all matters. Visit her website at: www.ellenmwilson.com

Practicing Conscious Living and Dying

I came across an excellent book recently called 'Practicing Conscious Living and Dying' which I thought some of our readers might find inspirational. Written by Annamaria Hemingway and published in January 2008, this collection of powerful and thought-provoking stories illustrates how each of the individuals concerned has come to understand death... They teach us that the preciousness of life must be lived with a sense of purpose and meaning, as a celebration of existence.

In the author's own words: "It is my sincerest wish that all those who read this book will find it inspirational and spiritually uplifting, that it will provide hope and strength to the dying and the bereaved, and offer compelling evidence for the possible continuum of consciousness after the death of our physical body."

Personally, I found it wonderful, beautiful, enormously interesting and endlessly fascinating... high praise indeed, but it really did fill me with hope and inspiration. Click here for more details.

My soul has wings...

When I die and leave behind
This earth I love
These trees, this sky,
The pounding sea,
The yearly hope of spring,
Cry not for me,
Rejoice.
My soul has wings
And in its freedom sings.

Anonymous

Inspirational Videos and Tributes

Lots of people are writing in to say how much they love our inspirational movie (thank you!) and that they are finding it helpful at a tough time. Like many people, I am a great fan of finding comfort and inspiration in these kinds of movies, so it's a great honor to have had our movie included on the Inspirational Videos and Tributes page on the very talented Steve Brunkhorst's website. Why not have a look - these are uplifting, comforting movies about all kinds of things...

Feelgood inspirational movies...

We all need to feel good - and when you're grieving, sometimes feeling good can seem like a dim and distant memory. From time to time, we all need a helping hand, an outside stimulus to make us forget ourselves and what we are going through.

So from now on, I'm going to start adding inspirational resources to the blog. The first one I've chosen is the site Joy To The World, which has quite a few joyful, inspirational movies to choose from at www.joy-tothe-world.com/Inspirational_Movie.html (scroll down the page to see the selection). The creator, Jane, shares my philosophy of finding peace, joy and comfort in nature; may you too find comfort in her movies! Jane says:

The quote below, from Deepak Chopra, says it all for me! My website is intended to be a celebration of everything that is joyful in life.

We are travellers on a cosmic journey – star-dust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. But the expressions of life are ephemeral, momentary, transient. Gautama Buddha, the founder of Buddhism, once said,

“This existence of ours is as transient as autumn clouds. To watch the birth and death of beings is like looking at the movements of a dance. A lifetime is like a flash of lightening in the sky, rushing by like a torrent down a steep mountain.”

We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient. It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, lightheartedness and love, we will create abundance and joy for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile.

Deepak Chopra ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.’

New movie now on YouTube

Just a quick note to say that if you haven't yet seen our inspirational movie for those grieving the loss of a loved one, watch it now - it will take less than 5 minutes. We're not pretending it's going to change your life, but if it even makes you feel better during the time it takes to watch it, then that's a wonderful thing... The beautiful music is After The Rain by Brady Barnett, written in memory of his son Jonah.

You can also watch the movie on YouTube and/or on Metacafe. Watching it there will make the project more widely known and allow us to help more people. Thank you for helping to spread the word!

"The Light Beyond has the most beautiful short movie I've come across. The thoughtful words and outstanding images offer those of us who have lost a loved one a sense not just that someone understands but also of hope and optimism for the future. Unmissable." M.R.

Wonderful new music for our inspirational movie to help comfort the bereaved

The Light Beyond's inspirational movie, based on the sympathy poem Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep, has a fabulous new soundtrack. The movie aims to comfort mourners with the thought that the person they grieve for has become one with nature. Watch the movie now... and please help us spread the word by telling friends or family who are in need of comfort.

We would like to thank the very talented Brady Barnett, whose wonderful music we have used in this movie. The track is called After The Rain and it's the title track of the CD Brady recorded to help cope with the outpouring of emotions he experienced after the sad death of his son Jonah. Click here to order After The Rain from Brady Barnett

To Those I Love

Another wonderful funeral poem taken from Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep, our book of over 250 poems, quotations and readings for funerals, memorial services, eulogies and inner peace:

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the silent way,
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me
As if I were beside you there.

(I’d come – I’d come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)

And when you hear a song or
See a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!

There are so many things I wanted still to do –
So many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear…
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see beyond...
But this I know:
I love you so –

’twas heaven here with you!

Isla Paschal Richardson (1886-1971)

White envelopes for Christmas...

It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it, overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma, the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son, Kevin, who was 12 that year was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended, and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in the spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids, all kids, and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse.

That's when the idea of his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition, one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on. The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical present, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there.

You see we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

Nancy W. Gavin

This story is a true story and inspired four siblings from Atlanta, GA to start The White Envelope Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting this tradition and charitable giving. The White Envelope Project founders are regularly in touch with the family in the article and are thrilled to have their support. The Gavin family and now thousands of others continue to celebrate the "white envelope" tradition each year. For more information about The White Envelope Project or to honor a loved one through a "white envelope" gift this year, please visit their website: www.WhiteEnvelopeProject.org