Why not share your story with all our readers, so that others can learn and grow from your own experiences of grief and loss? Simply click on one of the Contact Us buttons to send us your story. Submission criteria...
Please take the following into account:
Write from the heart in a way which will connect you to your fellow human beings around the world, and which will inspire and encourage others in their own journey through grief. For example, what have you learned? How did your experiences help you to grow? What advice would you give to others?
Please submit your stories by clicking on one of the Contact Us buttons in the blog side panels, and then filling in the form. We will do our best to acknowledge every contribution. If we like your work, we will publish it on this blog, so keep checking back. We are happy to include a link to your own website in your story if you would like us to.
Please supply full contact details, as we will not accept anonymous or author unknown submissions. In the event that your contribution is selected to be published in an anthology, we may wish to contact you and send you a copy of the book.
We may edit your contributions if they are lengthy. Thank you for your stories, and for your interest in what we are trying to achieve at The Light Beyond.
Im 21 years old and to this very day i think about what might have been...when i was 18 my boyfriend was in a very bad car accident ever since then my whole life has changed, im not the same person i once was. Some days I know that i will be fine and everything is gonna be ok, but there are other days that I just want to die, and i ask myself why me, why him....is that selfish of me? Sometimes I just know that i cannot go on any longer..i dont want to feel this way but I cant change the way my life has turned out! My heart yearns to see him again...I never knew that my heart could ache as much as it does...its a pain that i cannot even began to explain. I could go on and on because I have no one else who wants to listen or at least thats how i feel.
Posted by: bianca | January 14, 2008 at 06:11 AM
Bianca: The ups and downs may continue, but they get easier with time as we begin to heal. I am a widow of four years and I know well the tumult of emotions we experience in our grief and bereavement. None of it is easy, nor does any of it follow a plan. We are all in the journey individually, but what I hope for you is you find solace in the good times you had with your boyfriend and recall with fond reminiscence that time you had together. I consider myself fortunate to have had the opportunity to love someone as much as I did my husband. Even in the worst of times, there was a "knowing" in me that I would be okay, somehow, some way.
Posted by: Elaine Williams | March 13, 2008 at 02:08 AM
it has beena almost one year since i lost the the best man ever - my daddy - i miss him so horribly and i keep hearing time heals -well i still fell like it was yesterday and it wont let up -any help or words of wisdom as i feel i am riding a never ending pain train -he was a wonderful man - hsrd workimg - charitable - loving and would give the shirt off his back to anyone who was in need - not a too shabby golfer either i might add - golf was his love - one day at age 76 he shot a 68 - i hear thats good - im not a golfer but he was a icon in this are - i miss his presence and the way he just filled the room when he walked in - a gentle peaceful man - love him and miss him so much -thanks for listening -Cynthia
Posted by: cynthia | March 14, 2008 at 05:47 PM
I lost my father 12 years ago, quite suddenly to a heart attack. He was at work when he suffered his attack and his last words were "Call an ambulance!". I was living two states away and I remember it being a beautiful day.
I am now 48 years old, and still his absence cuts me to the bone sometimes. I have dreamt about him, and it's one dream in particular that has stuck with me the most. I shall relate it here in just a bit.
The mere suddenness of his passing has left the traditional open wounds and unresolved issues. Did I tell him that I loved him enough? Did I make sure he knew how much he meant to me? Did I ever get to prove that I am a man in my own right?
Is he disappointed in me and in the way I live?
Such are the feelings that sometimes just grab me by the throat like a ravenous animal, and reduces me to tears, reverting me back to that same raw moment when I learned that he was gone.
Sometimes, I try to discern what my dreams of him meant. In moments of clearer lucidity, it comes through, but in times like this I re-think my impressions and come up empty.
My Dream:
I am at my parents' house. There are a lot of people there, like a holiday or something. People are sitting around the dining room table and my father is sitting at his usual place. Talk is light and cacaphonous, as my family is half-italian and there just seems to be a natural inclination for many conversations to be taking place at once. My dad is talking and laughing along with everyone else. Suddenly, he looks up at the clock on the wall, and says "Well, I guess I'd better get going". He rises from the table, and everyone says goodbye and good luck to him...like he's going to work, or on a brief trip.
I watch from the bar in the dining room. I am bewildered that he has gotten up from the table and is going into the bathroom. Where is he going? What does everyone know that I don't?
After several minutes, he emerges. Not only is he decked out in jeans and t-shirt and leather jacket, he is a much younger version of himself. I get up from the bar and start walking towards him, to ask him what is going on.
He is standing at the front door, and I stop him before he goes out. I ask him where he's going. I ask him if I can come with him.
At this point, I realize that I am asking to go with him because I am genuinely afraid; like something terrible could happen, and I want to be there to either protect him, or be on hand to share in whatever happens.
He smiles, and tells me that I can't go with him. He deflects all answers as to why not. By now, I come to the realization that this is no ordinary trip, and that it has deep meaning. With tears in my eyes, I tell him that I don't want him to go.
He embraces me and says that he has to. He then whispers something in my ear that I still don't entirely understand. He whispers:
"We'll catch up."
He then turns and leaves, shutting the door behind him. I never see him again. Behind me, the conversations are carrying on like before, like nothing unusual has happened. I then awaken.
I should suffix this by relating that his youngest brother, my uncle whom I have been very close with all of my life, passed away suddenly this past September. I think of him often, and of course by doing so think of my father as well.
Sometimes the pain and grief and sense of loss isn't too bad. Other times, it cuts me clean in half. I assume that in their new heightened awareness, they see all and sundry that I have been and what I have become. I wonder if I have disappointed them terribly, and if they can ever forgive me for the things they never knew but know now.
I don't know if I will ever catch up to my father, or if he would ever even want me to.
Posted by: Curie | July 24, 2008 at 03:50 AM
Dear Curie,
It's been several months since you commented. I hope that you have had some easing of your pain. My interpretation of "we'll catch up" is that your father was telling you that you'd see one another when you die. That's why he said that you couldn't come with him. You still have more to experience in life. Please don't beat yourself up about whether you lived up to your father's or uncle's expectations. Your father was not judgmental in the dream. He seemed very kind. Please extend that kindness to yourself.
To put this in context:
My husband died suddenly of a heart attack on Feb. 1, 2007, and I found him when I came home from work. I have a hard time remembering if we said "I love you," just before I left for work. I remember how tired he looked, but I can't remember our last words. I've come to accept that even though I can't remember the conversation, I'll never forget the the enduring love.
Take care
Posted by: Mary | September 26, 2008 at 12:13 AM
hi my name is linda i am 31 yrs old i fell pregnant for the first time with a person i love dearly . all through the pregnancy everything went fine the baby was healthy good heart beat and all i was due on may 30 2009 which is not too long ago i lost a beautiful little baby boy who went by the name of nathan william smith cassidy i was aty 39 weeks of labour i delivered him natural he was still born on may 29 at 2:10 a.m. in the morning i do miss all the time he was living and moving inside me now the thoughest part for me and my boyfriend and family is still too come the funeral of our little boy which i didnt choose the date yet but will be soon me and my boyfriend are deeply heart broken and in sorrow we miss our son dearly we got the chance too see him we both kissed him and held him closely in our arms .we will never forget him and will always love him forever so dearly in our hearts he died from a imbilical cord accident a knot had formed so the only thing we tell ourselves now is life goes on but will we ever get over this god only knows the answer too that so thats my story i sure hope this could help any mother out there who has witnessed a nightmare like we did ... linda and john june/3/2009
Posted by: linda smith | June 04, 2009 at 04:11 AM
I am going through the information related to how we process grief as a family member and a friend. My niece died and then my friend died this year. Because I am a nurse and a minister, I felt like I needed to help everyone else who was hurting. My comment is that attention needs to be paid to every griever because every death seems to add to the pain that needs to be soothed.
Posted by: WysWoods | December 28, 2009 at 09:08 PM
I recently lost my 31 year old sister we do not even know the reason for her passing, we had to take her off life support and she passed Feb 3, 2010
Posted by: [email protected] | February 15, 2010 at 10:19 PM
Mother's Day will always be the anniversary of my son's death, no matter what date it falls on. May 9, 2010, the day I lost a piece of my heart. I have vivid memories of that day but they are brief glimpses only. He called that morning to tell me Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you! I remember being 250 miles away from my home, my other child and my family. I don't know how I threw everything I had into a suitcase and drove that distance home in the middle of the night. I can picture the scene when I finally arrived and fell into my own mom and dad's arms and collapsed. The rest is a blur. A month later, I am still numb. I cry but it is the strangest things that trigger it. Not sure what to do with all the emotion I have bottled up inside me but it scares me what might happen when the floodgates decide to open up. I am thankful I was blessed with 23 years of being his mother. I got to see him grow into this amazing young man. All the nevers kill me though....not seeing him married, not getting to be a daddy, not getting to finish travelling the world like he wanted to. I would give anything to have him back, to have one more bear hug, one more silly joke, one more meal together. Sometimes I'm afraid I will forget all the special things about him-that actually terrifies me.
Posted by: Staci | June 08, 2010 at 06:37 AM
I'm 26 and 9 years ago my brother died of cancer.
I'm trying to make sense of it all. As of today, I am older than he was when he died. It's late where I am now, and I have to sleep, but I hope to write more here and read more of your stories later on.
I do write a blog - in the forms of letters to my brother, and if any of you would like to read it, you can find it here: http://ifitwasntforbadluck.blogspot.com/
Wishing everyone of you all the best.
Posted by: Dee | July 19, 2010 at 12:32 AM
Im 21. 10 months ago my best friend was brutely murdered by an intruder in her home.
I keep telling myself things will get easier. But the pain is horrific and the tears flow every day. I feel so empty and full of anger and hatred. My life is spiraling out of control. How could my life go from being so perfect to full of great sadness, pain, guilt and hatred!
I dont know what to do next! This isnt my life! I just want this nightmare to stop!
Posted by: Belinda | January 31, 2011 at 07:25 AM
My name is Kathryn. My father passed away on April 21, 2001 when I was 11 years old.
My mother made some good decisions as far as getting us the resources we needed when dad passed away. We went to counseling for a short while, my twin sister and I went to "Camp Courage," and we were a part of the Rainbows program. All of this was to help us.
However, years following all of this, things kind of came to a halt. Anytime after that, if I tried to talk to my mother about how much I missed dad, she would shrug it off and say, "Well dad wouldn't want you to feel that way." So, I didn't allow myself to feel sad or miss him. I never grieved for him... that is until now.
It has really hit me hard. On dad's 10 year anniversary of his death, I was sitting in my apartment. I turned to look at his picture hanging on my wall, and it suddenly hit me... dad's really not here.
Since that day, I've been seeing a counselor here at the university I attend, and have gotten involved in a grief support group. One thing I have learned so far is that dad never intended on leaving me. Even though I was angry that he left me to grow up without a father, I know he still loves me and I'll get to see him again someday.
I'm not through with my grieving process yet, but I'm slowly getting there.
God's word and prayer, counseling, my support group, and listening to uplifting music helps me day by day. I know I will always miss my dad, but I don't have to let his death control my life.
Posted by: Kathryn Brown | June 12, 2011 at 07:02 PM
I am 68 years old and up to a few months ago I had both of my parents. My mother 88, my father 91. For several years I was their caregiver, from Dr visits, hospitals in and out numerous times. I did everything, cook, clean etc. Both of my parents were on hospice, which was not a pleasant experience to watch them fade away right in front of me. My mother died March 02, 2011, and my father died April 08, 2011. Although I have been seeing a therapist for about two years and knew what was coming, I was and still am a total mess. I am having trouble just coping with every day life. I have no interests in anything whatsoever.
My daughters have been encouraging me to go to this website and share my story. I have very good memories. My parents both had a very good sarcastic sense of humor, and very-very witty. I feel I have to apologize for my depressing story, and keep on hoping that I will snap out of my gloomy disposition. I miss them both very much. Perhaps some of you can pray for me. I would really appreciate some encouragement.
Thank you for listening to me.
Posted by: mamisdaughter | July 08, 2011 at 07:41 PM
I am 14. My parents both died in a car crash when i was 3 years old. (My older brother and I were in the car, but survived) We were watching a move at a drive in when a drunk driver came up behind us and crashed. I don't remember anything about them. The only things i know is what I have managed to get out of my grandparents, but they don't like to talk about it. (oh did i mention i now live with my grandparents) I lived in one place my whole life, in fact we lived in a house my parents built. I felt safe there like they were watching over me. About a little more than a year ago we moved out of state. All of the friends i loved who understood me and knew when something was wrong and supported me, i had to leave behind. Because of a time difference i don't get to talk to them much. The usual are not on the computer any way. Lately, I've been really depressed, then just this past summer, my great grandma(who was very close to me) died. Then when I was about 5 or 6 my grandpa on my dads side died. I just don't know what to do any more. My grandparents just don't understand how i feel. I had to grow up with out a mom or dad. On mothers day or father day, my friends (the ones i had to leave behind) would always comfort me and make me feel happy... i don't have that any more. My new friends arn't actually good at things like that. In fact a few of them don't even know my parents are dead.
I remember that night clearly, like it is engraved in my head. I had fallen asleep and the next thing i know im being pulled out of the car by some strangers. They watched my brother and i while we waited for an ambulance. We were taken to the hospital. Next thing i know, i have to stay with my grandparents. Because i was so young i had not idea what had happened. No one would tell me what happened or why i had to stay with my grandparents, or why we had to go to a funeral house place. Now here i am. Its been a lot of years but now that im in my teen years and all this high school drama is starting... i just wish i had my parents. Some support would be nice to have.
Posted by: Kit-Kat | November 24, 2011 at 03:51 AM
I am 19 years old my dad passed away only 9 and a half weeks ago I can honestly say he was my best friend and he was the glue that held my family together. He wasn't ill and died very suddenly at just 50 years old to say I'm heartbroken is a massive understatement. He was my whole life and always made me smile when I was down my mom has kept together and I'm very proud of her but we are all in so much pain how do people cope with Christmas at this sad time? Any comments would be appreciated.
Posted by: HollyB | December 15, 2011 at 11:13 PM
I lost my dad four years ago when i was nine. He went out on his motorbike and never came back so we went out looking for him and there he was laying in the road. A tree had fallen and landed on top of him. I knew it was him as soon as i saw a police car. I couldn't stop crying. Four years have passed and i still cant cope without him, he was not only my dad but he was also my best friend. I just don't know what to do. When i try to talk to my mum about how much i miss him she just walks away like her never existed. I would really like some support and any comments would be much appreciated. Thank you.
Posted by: Alicia | December 23, 2011 at 11:16 AM
hi my name is Lindsey Alsdorf,,,, I am a senior in high school and i lost my great grandmother an exact day before i started my semester finals and it was very hard and still is because she will never get to see my children or my cousins children.... I have been talking to my friend (which is my ex boyfriend) bout it and he understands it all.... I loved my great grandmother,, Lorene W. Youngman(died December 14, 2012,,,,,, born August 1916)
Posted by: lindsey alsdorf | May 08, 2012 at 03:10 AM
My firstborn son Matthew battled leukemia for 9 years, finally flying home to Jesus in 2003. It can be hard not to have him here with us, but it helps to know that he is in heaven waiting for us to join him.
Posted by: Dan Metcalf | June 14, 2012 at 06:12 PM
My name is Leona, I'm 38 years old. My boyfriend of 8 years passed away suddenly in our home on Dec 26,2012 from a massive heart attack. He was 40 years old. 17 days ago my world was turned upside down. I feel so lost without him. He was the one and only love of my life. He was a good man with a heart of gold. I miss him so much. The last words he said to me were "hurry home". I was too late, I came home 10 minutes later to find him sitting up on the couch, I thought he was asleep, but he wouldn't wake up when I called him. I shook him, yelled at him, no answer, nothing, no pulse, he was already gone. I called 911 and preformed CPR on him till the ambulance came. All the time I was crying hysterically and begging him not leave me. I will never forget that night. At times I blame myself, I get so angry..sometimes towards him and God. Why did this happen?! Why did you leave me?! Why him?! We weren't blessed with children but we were happy. I was happy. Now everything has changed. I am not the same person. When he died, a part of me died with him. I can't stay in the home he made for us, I've been staying with my parents. (My rocks). There are just too many memories and everything reminds me of him. The evenings are the worst, we were always together at home in the evenings. Being there at these times hits me too hard. I cry and scream to the point where I can't breathe. I don't know how I am going to go on without him. Sometimes I wish I would die too. I am no longer afraid of death, in fact I can't wait to die and when I do, I'm going to run straight to him and hug him so tight and never let him go. I feel so empty and my arms ache to hold him. I can't write anymore, my tears won't stop. Sorry for rambling. R.I.P Till we meet again love, My Angel Travis. <3
Posted by: Leona Mercredi | January 13, 2013 at 06:55 AM