How can friends and family help?

This was recently posted by Sarah Jane in our (increasingly busy) bereavement forum:

I know it is hard for family and friends to stand by and watch what we are going through. One question we're often asked is "What can I do?". Everyone genuinely wants to help, but they don't know how. We know we will come out on the other side of this someday, but until then, I offer ten suggestions to help loved ones begin to understand what's happening to us. They are taken from an article in Good Housekeeping magazine:

1. Don't try to fix us. There is no magic pill.

2. Don't tell us to snap out of it - we can't. We know you are uncomfortable seeing us in pain, but we will recover at our own pace, not yours.

3. Don't take it personally if we don't return phone calls. We are just trying to get through each day intact. If you care about us, keep trying.

4. Don't be afraid to talk about our loved ones. We find comfort in knowing that other people miss them too. We want to hear your stories and special memories.

5. Don't assume the role of stand-in parent for our children. It hurts to see someone trying to fill in. For us, there is no substitute.

6. Don't tilt your head and look at us with puppy dog eyes (so true). We don't want pity.

7. Don't ask about our financial situation. It's none of your business.

8. Don't harp on how strong we are. We're not trying to be role models. You may see us as strong, but chances are we fall apart when you're not around.

9. Don't be put off by our moodiness. Some days we want to be social, other days we don't.

10. Don't abandon us. We need you just as much a year later as we did a month later. And when things are better, we'll remember how you were there for us.