Sam and Joe's story

Our reader Sam shares her story:

"On October 2nd 2007, my father sat me down on the couch in the living room along with my brother and sisters and he said that today, our family called from America. Your cousin Joseph had a motorcycle accident. I stood there still in shock and slowly tears started going down my cheeks. I asked my dad calmly trying not to scream not to show my pain in front of my family, is he okay? He replied, he died on the scene. When he told me that phrase, I started screaming, and hitting myself as hard as I could, I was screaming his name, hitting myself, calling my dad a liar... My sister was trying to recomfort me, I hit her, then my dad came next to me and held me tight so I could stop hitting myself. The next day I woke up, tried to go to school, I did... but eventually couldn't take the pain and started crying. So they sent me back home... Since we lived in Canada and they lived in California... my mom went to his funeral, I begged her to let me come with her, she told me she didn't want me to see this, yet I've been to many funerals. They came to Canada every year and we shared the best moments of our lives together. Joe had a sister, Rita, she and I we're really close and still are. But Joseph and I, we're even closer. We got out of the house at midnight, went to the park till 3 am, came back home and stayed up all night just talking. The whole family knew we were inseparable...

I love him so much and I'm not going to write I loved him so much, cause I still do love him and I always will. Joseph doesn't ride a motorcycle, he borrowed one from his friend... He died on Mount-Badly October 1st. We were always together, he talked to me about everything. He was like my best friend. Today, I regret a couple of things, like that time when we went to Quebec, I let him walk over the waterfall alone, I wanted to go with him but didn't have the courage so he went alone. I regret it. Sometimes, something would bother me, and he'd ask me what was wrong and I'd say nothing. He told me he didn't believe me. But I never cried in front of him or anyone because I don't want to look weak. Until one night, we had a conversation and he told me, what I'm doing isn't right, that he's a guy and cries so when I feel the urge to cry I shouldn't keep it in. I didn't listen to him that night. Today, I try my best to be like him, every time I get into an argument with someone I truly love, I have to apologize because I live in the fear of knowing that in 1 second, your whole life could change, and I didn't want to take that chance again. I say I Love You, to everyone I love every time I have the occasion, so if ever I leave this world, they'd all know I love them and care about them. Joe changed my life, even thought it isn't getting much easier... I'm staying strong for my family and him. I don't want to worry my family and I don't want them to mourn over me for long. I bought a ring engraved with his name on it. He died at age 18. Life is so short, and he made me realize it. So I'm passing on the message to all of you because I learned it the hard way.

May you Rest in peace, Joseph Fady Garabet.

We love you!"